What Dreams May Come?

I was supposed to give the Doc an answer about surgery. I stalled. I thought about other things. I daydreamed. I also went nearly 500 miles away on vacation. However, when I came back, he still needed an answer, and I still had a lump.
So I'm having it out...sigh. I won't be put under general anesthesia. They'll just sedate me, but the very idea makes me want to scream me head off. I guess I have control issues. I'd rather be strapped screaming to the OR table and be in complete awareness than have a little shot of Versed and miss something. For a nurse, I've always been pretty superstitious when it comes to any kind of sedation or anesthesia. For crying out loud, when I had my wisdom teeth out back in the day, I begged and pleaded with the oral surgeon to use half of whatever he was going to give me when I saw the big syringe. I didn't even know what doasge he was holding--thats how nuts I am about it! He laughed at me, gave me all of it, and about a half hour later, I woke up in the car. If I was a caregiver to me, I'd sedate me, too!