What Dreams May Come?

I was supposed to give the Doc an answer about surgery. I stalled. I thought about other things. I daydreamed. I also went nearly 500 miles away on vacation. However, when I came back, he still needed an answer, and I still had a lump.
So I'm having it out...sigh. I won't be put under general anesthesia. They'll just sedate me, but the very idea makes me want to scream me head off. I guess I have control issues. I'd rather be strapped screaming to the OR table and be in complete awareness than have a little shot of Versed and miss something. For a nurse, I've always been pretty superstitious when it comes to any kind of sedation or anesthesia. For crying out loud, when I had my wisdom teeth out back in the day, I begged and pleaded with the oral surgeon to use half of whatever he was going to give me when I saw the big syringe. I didn't even know what doasge he was holding--thats how nuts I am about it! He laughed at me, gave me all of it, and about a half hour later, I woke up in the car. If I was a caregiver to me, I'd sedate me, too!

City of Food

We went to Savannah, Georgia, and we were bowled over by it's timeless beauty. I like a good quaint, historic city. We wandered around the squares completely slack-jawed. It was gorgeous. My husband wanted to know why we couldn't just buy a house there and stay.
The food, the food, the food! I love a city that boasts great food. Savannah has it in spades. Yes, yes, ya'll we did eat at The Lady & Sons. It was good. However, my favorite dining experience there was Corleone's, a small Italian eatery. The antipasto tray nearly made me cry, it was so good. The Crab Shack was also a nice change.
Personally, I didn't find the citizens of that town particularly hospitable. I kept telling myself that they were probably sick and tired of always walking the streets with a bunch of tourists like myself--but they really never seemed happy.
We also went to several of the islands nearby. It was a nice little trip. Go see for yourself.

Lots of Lumps in Life

I've had a surgeon following a lump in my breast that I found at the beginning of the year. We don't really think it is much of a threat, but it is larger than my run-of-the-mill fibrocystic lumps. I'm a little OCD with the thing (should I name it?) because I see worst case scenarios all the time, and he is a little OCD with the thing (names, anyone?) because he's an expert on breast health. So we're contemplating a lumpectomy because the mass is so close to the surface of the breast. We figure I'll be more comfortable--especially given that a girlfriend of mine has stage IV breast cancer. My mom has had benign lumps removed in the past. I don't like the idea of surgery that isn't 100% necessary, but I also don't like this unwelcome visitor hanging out. I'm supposed to take a few days to contemplate the situation and make a decision.

A Tribute

A really sweet patient who became a good friend passed away this week. I knew her for a little over a year. She loved southern soul food, cosmetics, and playing with her grandchildren. She had a beautiful laugh that lit a room up, and on her good days, her sense of humor was impeccable. Her biggest regret in life was dying before she could see her next soon-to-be-born grandchild. I think it beautiful that her life was well-lived so that she didn't look back and worry over why she did or said unkind things. She was in a coma for two weeks before she died, and she really struggled. I am relieved her physical hardship is over. My thoughts are with her family.

Glorious Weekend!

This weekend, I will be:

*eating lunch with my best friend of twelve years in this quaint little Italian restuarant
*making a pumpkin spice cake with caramel and cream cheese frosting
* doing some major fall wardrobe shopping
* filling another flower bed with big, brilliant mums
* looking for Fuzzy--she's in hiding after another cat miffed her tender feelings
*coaxing backrubs from the hubby
* finding a good book to read
*writing on my novel during the downtime

Most of all, I will just be happy!

Where Did I Put My Student?

I have a new student following me. She asked me if the chemo I was about to give was "sealed" or "unsealed". Those terms apply to radiation, folks. She hid--a lot. Probably because my almost paralyzed patient (spinal lesions) was having a nervous breakdown while my hematology patient tried to bleed out through a mere needle stick (the bed was saturated in blood, but we saved him!) while my hospice patient cried out in frightening dementia (likely leading to the nervous breakdown of the aforementioned patient) and the young lady getting chemo mentioned in some earlier posts threw a fit because she didn't have a nurse to chat with because all of us were saving the crashing bleeder. So my student hid, and I didn't have time to dig her out and show her how to handle such crises and try to maintain professionalism at the same time because I was handling the crises and marginally pulling off calm, cool, and collected. She was a sweet girl. I hope she comes back next week!

Happiness

This weekend, happiness is:

* planning meals for my husband
* going on long walks with the husband around the lake
*baking one mean, yummy bread pudding
*watching hummingbirds gather at our feeder
* planting mums and pansies in the backyard
*surprising my best friend with a gift subscription to a magazine--for no reason
*doing my Bible study
*going to open houses with my husband
*buying myself a little something and not feeling guilty over it
*sleeping in
*accepting that I don't have to be perfect to be happy

What will you do this weekend?